Member-only story
The Multitude of Living with BPD
CW: Borderline personality disorder, depersonalization, mental health, personality.
I’m going to tell you about my mind, my personality, and how it works with Borderline Personality Disorder.
I’d have to say that the number one thing that is hardest, is the depersonalization.
I have had special interests as all kids, teens, and young adults do. But I had so many special interests that constantly changed and I never understood why. I thought maybe I’m autistic because those interests are so strong? So strong that I would base my whole personality around them. But then, in two weeks to a month’s time, I’d be onto something completely different. This kept me from being one person, and instead gave me too many to choose from.
I guess in my brain it never often occurred to me that I could be a rounded individual. My brain had to be centered around being one thing. As a kid, I could either like magic or sci-fi and other black and white thinking. It just never occurred to me that I would like both because my personality would revolve around this concept of me “liking magic” and suddenly my brain would start saying ‘I’m a witch! I believe in magic and I hate science!” which I remind you, I was a child.
As I grew up and became a teenager, I realized that I could like particularly different…
