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If Patience Is A Virtue
Then I am not very virtuous.
The behavior that probably affects me most in the areas of mental health, is my inability to be patient. Let me tell you I have tried. I can slow down. For three hours I think is the longest I’ve gone. Then my brain is right back to “why haven’t I done everything there is to do in my life, why am I not productive” which leads to thoughts such as, “Wow I must be a lazy person then”.
None of these are true, but to my impatient mind If I am at rest then I am a mess. In the last month especially I have times where I am trying to do something for myself, very slowly. Taking my time, and wanting to do it right. Then my brain butts in and says, “You are taking too long you must not be good at this, let’s do something more productive!” these are such problematic ways to think, as well as burns me out extremely fast.
My impatience contributes to my insecurities, my unattainable goals, and the way that I do things at work. It leads to negative self-talk and spiraling thoughts of inadequacy. Not to mention catastrophizing because my brain doesn’t want to wait for actual outcomes.
How am I supposed to slow down?
Recently I have been focused on being in the present moment and telling myself that it’s okay to let go of thoughts about the future…
