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Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash

Yes, this will be another blog about quarantine. I’m sure you’ve seen tons of these. People talking about being lonely, missing their families, or going “to heck” with COVID restrictions on activity. As cliche as it sounds, I have found more of myself through quarantine.

For backstory, I am a 24-yr old college student majoring in Gender and sexuality. I got laid off from a shift supervisor position in a company back in May because of COVID restrictions and have been on unemployment ever since. I live with my fiance, my little sister, and my 3 cats. One of which we adopted during the quarantine. …


The response we see can kill.

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Photo by Claudia Wolff on Unsplash

While browsing my daily twitter feed during this year’s Suicide Prevention month, I came across a horrible news story that as someone who is also on the autism spectrum, shook me to my emotional core.

A distraught mother called a police crisis intervention team in Glendale, Utah to intervene in a meltdown that her 13-year-old son was having, because he doesn’t know how to regulate his emotions, and he just needed help. …


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Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

When I was a teen, I didn’t think I could be an activist.

For one, I didn’t know what that would entail at the time. Two, I thought that I didn’t have enough confidence to stand up for others.

I had this crippling fear of people not liking me, or cutting me off completely. I felt as though because some of those close to me didn’t approve, then I was on the wrong side.

I’m 24 now, and activism isn’t comfortable. It’s not supposed to be. It’s abundantly clear that the myth of “sides” is just that, a myth. …


How can they work together?

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Photo by Carli Jeen on Unsplash

Writing fiction requires the comprehension to see multiple points of view in relation to a storytelling perspective. Not only are you taking into consideration multiple audiences (those reading, the publishers, yourself, those the readers recommend it to, the characters in the stories themselves, the critics), you are also fitting these audiences into your narrative. Sometimes at the expense of your plot.

This is what can make fiction writing feel stuck, in a rut, or feeling like you can’t get anywhere with the story. …


Frequently Asked Questions — the Nonbinary Edition

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Image Credit to Laurie Raye, They/Them

Below are some commonly asked questions from Cisgender folks. Some questions answered and some not because we don’t ‘have’ to explain our gender or lack thereof to anyone, but I love spreading knowledge. These are my personal answers as I understand things and they don’t represent the whole community.

Q: What is Nonbinary?

A: What is the meaning of life? Being Nonbinary is everything and nothing all at once. It’s the feeling of being in-between, lack thereof, or added on top of something. Someone who is Nonbinary could be Agender, Bi-gender, Demi-gender, Genderfluid, or a Nonbinary girl or boy, as well as many others. …


Are You Willing?

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Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

Recently I started reading “Unf*ck Yourself" by Gary John Bishop. And as brutal and honest as it is, especially said in his Scottish accent, the first chapter was easy to accept. Sure, I gotta grab myself by the bootstraps and change my life. Of course, I can do this.

The second chapter came, however, and boy did I have a lot to sort out in my head. He talks of willing in this chapter and whether or not you are, willing that is to decide to be happy, to decide to stop holding grudges or blaming your problems on situations or other people. If you are willing to make that acceptance for yourself and make yourself responsible for your actions and what happens to you. It sounds extremely brutal. You probably already beat yourself up about what you can’t control. Realize too that you often blame situations and problems for the way that you are feeling when you are the one feeling that way. You are the only person making yourself miserable. …


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Anyone who lives in the suburbs of a large city has felt the struggle of going to the big city only to be shocked having to constantly ask for bathroom keys, pins, or buy something before you’re allowed a wee. Why is this? Safety? Profit? Staffers not wanting to clean the bathroom?

I feel like we are running out of places to ‘just be’. You’ll say, Rhian we have always had a place.

The library! But even librarians keep an eye on loiterers, and some have even made cafes inside them to make extra money because the local government doesn’t give them nearly enough money to sustain themselves. …


Do something you like to do every day, let yourself feel good and have fun.

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Photo by Juan Camilo Navia on Unsplash

Being off work for a month for mental health was extremely boring, and felt like I wasn’t doing anything. I started to give myself horrible thoughts against myself and tell myself that I don’t deserve this time that I am getting to heal, which was completely untrue. One way I found to combat this was to do at least one thing I like to do per day.

Most have probably heard the typical saying of, “Exercise and you’ll feel better!”, well that’s not inclusive advice to give everyone. Not everyone has the stamina or motivation to exercise every day. Or even every week, especially if they’re depressed or anxious. Doing one thing you like to do every day, even for a little bit, can give yourself permission to feel good. …


Our community can be family, but sometimes family is toxic.

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Photo by Andrea Davis on Unsplash

The LGBTQ community has had another frustrating, tear-filled year. With the current administration in the U.S. giving us hell to pay, it’s hard not to give in to the divisiveness that the country is in right now. Unfortunately, this has led to people in our own community policing and red-lighting others, especially with ‘newer’ micro-identities every year and everyone trying to find their place.

Taking Sides

‘TERF’ has been a controversial word this year, and will probably continue into the new year as there will always be those who mask their transphobia with phony acceptance. ‘Terf’ means Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. Personally, I don’t believe they should be called feminist at all, because otherwise, they would accept Trans Women because they are real women. Many ‘Terfs’ have claimed that the word ‘Terf’ is a slur. …


When Anxiety and Dysphoria collide, ugly thoughts abide.

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Photo by Fernando @dearferdo on Unsplash

“What’s that?”, my top surgeon said as she examined my chest. She was staring at the sores on the sides and middle of my breasts, eyeing them suspiciously.

“Oh, I just pick at my chest. Um, anxiety ya know.” She seemed content with that answer. But did she know? Probably not. I can’t imagine most top surgeons even understanding the complex feelings that come with having dysphoria unless they’re trans themselves. It can be debilitating.

Truth is, I do pick at, scratch and rub my chest around the breasts. …

About

Rhian Beam

Nonbinary Autistic Blogger, Cat Parental Unit. Pronouns: They/Ze. Former Writer for Thi-nk Queerly-RIP. I write about my queer cryptid experience.

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